If you’re willing to spend $116,500-plus, then you can put yourself into a vanity ride masquerading as a functioning SUV (sport-utility vehicle), one Mercedes-Benz calls a coupe – except this coupe is monstrous, has four doors and a heavy rear hatch.

Hard to believe, I know. And you’ll be positively gob-smacked by the painful effort required to sit in the driver’s seat of Merc’s GLE63 S Coupe 4MATIC – vroom-vroom, all 577 turbocharged horsepower of it. Indeed, you will bang your noggin on the top edge of the door opening. Again and again. No matter how diligently you address ingress.

A little background: the GLE Coupe is a less practical, lower-slung version of the standard GLE which itself has received a facelift and a new name for 2016. This one used to be called the M-Class. No longer. Merc has embarked on a completely new way to name its vehicles, the details of which are logical but require diagrams to understand.

The cockpit looks super modern, but adding some of the most desirable options will add thousands to the base sticker price.

No matter. The GLE/M-Class has been a smashing success for Mercedes and with good reason. It’s a strong SUV with plenty of technology, very good road manners, a solid all-wheel-drive system and a three-pointed star on the hood. Yes, the Lexus RX and GX, along with Porsche’s Cayenne, have better quality among premium midsize SUVs, but Merc’s GLE/M-Class is solid enough.

Moreover, in Canada, the customer service at Merc dealers is quite excellent. The sprawling new Merc stores exploding all over Canada are equipped to keep customers happy – especially those who drop in unannounced.

Alas, the GLE Coupe’s designers and product planners did not make customer service an equal priority. This rig is as close to absurd as you’ll find in any automaker’s lineup. The door openings are cubbyhole-small thanks to a roofline that is intended to look rakish. In reality, the roof simply looks squished and flattened.

The nose is bold and has that most desirable of features — a three-pointed start.

Not only does this design make for uncomfortable entries and exits, it also seriously limits outward visibility. If you like driving partially blind, this is your SUV.
The GLE plays in a tiny niche of SUVs inspired by the BMW X6, an equally silly variation on the X5. The makers call these ponderous rigs “coupes.” Ridiculous. A coupe by definition is a car with a fixed roof and two doors.

The design compromises of the GLE Coupe render the whole thing impractical. Still, the Merc and Bimmer folks believe they can lure enough buyers to this niche to make a profit. Apparently, the appeal is to non-traditional SUV buyers who want emotional design.

What you won’t get in the GLE Coupe is a serious Mercedes off-road package. You will instead be steered into a high-performance AMG ride.

For what it is, the AMG GLE63 flies. The slightly lower centre of gravity helps it carve an apex remarkably well. And the quiet at highway speeds is comforting.
If you want some of the best available features, well, the Premium Package will set you back another $5,200; Intelligent Drive, $2,700. Band & Olufsen surround sound: $6,500. Rear-seat entertainment: $2,400.

You’ll whack your head getting in and out of the GLE Coupe and the rear looks a big heavy.

At least Merc’s COMMAND navigation system with MB Apps is standard. The user interface here is mostly intuitive, especially for former Merc owners. The seats are first-rate, the cabin roomy compared to its Bimmer rival, and safety scores are all good.

So why did Merc bother to ruin a perfectly good GLE SUV by smashing down the roofline? First, BMW did it with the X6. Second, with a small product investment, Merc expects to reel in a few extra buyers.

A Mercedes vice-president told Automotive News that profits are here because it’s cost efficient to have the GLE Coupe and the GLE share architecture. More was saved by having the GLE line and the E- and S-Class cars share components.

Car companies have mastered platform-sharing and this has them all scrambling to create niches and fill them. Thus we have the GLE Coupe, the X6 and others.
This is the reality and in this case, it’s a shame.

THE LOOK: Here we have a lowered SUV with all the other design cues of the taller, more functional GLE/M-Class. So it’s a mish-mash with a slightly odd appearance, as though some invisible force has punch-pressed a perfectly good GLE. Outward visibility is restricted by the low roofline.

THE DRIVE: Once you’re recovered from the head-banging that comes with climbing aboard, the AMG GLE63 offers a reward: pretty nifty dynamics.

THE NUTS AND BOLTS: The GLE does not share is underpinnings with the E- and S-Class cars. The AMG model here is a high-performance SUV with a 577-horsepower, turbocharged V-8 that sings. The seven-speed gearbox has just the right ratios. A righteous list of gizmos and gadgets are standard or available.

THE CABIN/STORAGE: Roomy? For sure. Hip, leg, shoulder room are all good, and once you navigate your way through the tiny door openings and put an ice pack on your head, you’ll be pleased to be inside.

THE BRAND: Mercedes is a brand on the rise. This year, Merc will pass BMW as the world’s No. 1 premium brand by sales. A raft of new products and diligence about quality combined to spur massive growth.

WHY BUYS? Very wealthy people who want a completely impractical SUV.

Price: $116,500; $2,075 freight.

Engine: Edge – 5.5-litre turbocharged V-8 (577 hp;561 lb-ft torque).

Transmission: seven-speed automatic.

Fuel economy (litres/100 km): 17.2 city/12.8 using premium fuel.

Comparables: BMW X6.

Warranty: four years/80,000 km basic and powertrain.